What a day this has been interesting to say the least – began with an annoying alarm on the phone – which was in the other room. Well, the sound is not annoying – the time was as it followed an evening, which itself was not entirely uneventful. It began with a (last night began with) a trip to the heliport to be told by the lazy security to come back tomorrow – but I persevered- and then lo and behold – the ticket man arrived – but he was outside a small sliding door in another office at the corner – and in between were some serious Bull Mastiffs – knee high looking tough but turned out they may have been color blind as I walked into the office –he took my money and gave me change for the most expensive short hop in the world –at least as far as I know -$80US for 7min 32seconds in an MI-8P – what a treat it turned out to be the next day –but I’ll be into that in a minute or so down the page.
After getting my ticket and giving this fellow his just rewards- 10,000 Leone – more than a day’s wages for most people, and escaping the potential fatal nip waist high by these four canines, I snapped a photo of the heliport just in case I was unable to see it in the dark tonight – Alas I did see it and went to check in – walked right through those bag handlers I did – not wanting to be ripped off by the touts disguised as employees with their fluorescent vets saying “UI Air”-God only knows what UI means, I don’t – perhaps Utterly Impossible, or, Unrecognized Imposter or ..as I said only God seems to know that one.
Anyway, smart as this move it was clearly an error on my part. I sensed something was wrong somehow and even though I put my bag in line with other 14 or 15 people for this flight- some guy on his way to Jakarta, some German bigot who refused to have someone pull his bag at the other end –an old bag religious zealot, who woke up to see her bag was gone and panicked because it had been moved to the baggage holding area- the wee kids wishing they did not have to leave- looking for a soother – or more likely a nipple to relieve their stress. And there clearly was some –the 35-ish bloke from UK who was so enamoured by his romp for the last few days seemed oblivious to all the rest of the waiters.
So the UI Air man walked by and said, “I need your ticket!” I said, “No you don’t”. He walked on to the other “room”, at least behind a pillar, waited an appropriate length of time and came back as I handed him my ticket, and quick as a wink said, “Yes, I do.” He smiled –not as much as later when I watched him seething for a 1000 Leone tip from some asshole, and I gave him 10,000 – clearly a happy man- which will be good for next time through. But that was before right now and after today’s events, which I have time to droll on about. Let’s go back a bit – to this morning after the snarly alarm attack.
Waking up – about 415, I think it was. Relieved the bladder to start the netbook and look at email – nothing exciting except a joke to offend everyone, sent to me by friend Peter from Vientiane Taipan –a surprise, a couple of Skype texting sessions – Graeme, Doc and the Princess – then to some serious business of report writing which did not materialize as I tried to get some things ready for Realini, the local partner, who may pull this off –again they may not.
At 7 – I go to the usual “buffet” – a sorry thing it is – lots of breads – no bacon – eggs maybe ok but not really – I am tired of it. Eat, get ready get in car and head out. Up to the crossroads- the straight up streambed or the real road –in reality they are both in rough shape – there is no such thing as an easy ride in this country except for the chopper I guess. It is awful.
So I opt for the smoother but more congested – it takes us 23 minutes to the junction – sometimes the rougher way has taken the same time. Around the junction (really a round about) and we start on the downhill side –as soon as it gets the smallest degree of downhill the driver puts in neutral and begins to coast – I wonder if anyone ever told him that there is some braking power in the transmission. More than that I wonder if anyone ever told him to pump the breaks – he does exactly opposite of what common sense says. SO=o down the hill – over the regular – oops irregular speed bumps to the level and there is a lot of traffic for a Friday – more so than what there was last Friday for sure. We slowly go down the roads –making the left and immediate right to get on another stream bed, then back up to the other street – then we are in luck – an ambulance full of family members and someone injured or even worse –siren wailing away. The driver seizes the moment –puts the flashers on – and sticks like glue to the careening ambulance – and I mean careening – a Toyota troop carrier with a serious lean as the driver zigged his way through the traffic, past the cars stopped by the local police (I assume there are no international ones here as well -although later I noticed a Mongolian troop contingent –what on earth are they doing here? –
Anyway like glue we stuck to the ambulance and transitted the most congested stretch in less than 5 minutes, not the usual 30 – I would have –no should have said stop – but what the heck – it was nice to bypass this stretch of chaos. Breaking out into the 4-lane stretch, Driver Rambo saw his chance to turn the flashers off and become invisible again, turn right and get to the office in 58 minutes – God knows how long it might have taken otherwise.
Passed the morning alright- then the afternoon with the local consultant- Othman Solomon Jawara –a jovial character with those large Egyptian-style eyes – a man past his prime (perhaps like I will be in a few years. He’s not smoking though – in fact, the only smoking I have seen here besides the brakes on the car I use and the garbage fires most mornings comes from the hukah smoking Lebanese – men and women who seem to relish the waterpipe (Clouseau would have sed waterpeep – perhaps even Peter offstage would say waterpeep- God only knows).
Anyway Othman is tuned into what might be a possibility but fails in understanding the first steps to take –so we go over this for a couple of hours. Oops being paged to BMI checkin I think – better shut down for now and not lumber on about the evening after the 10,000 tip…. More next time
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